Give it another try

It's been a while since I last posted.

We've recently had a holiday or an extended weekend and I've spent everyday of it in the sea. I'm excited that I have finally started understanding fishing and everyday I'm out in the sea I learn a thing or two.

Even though there are days when I've given my share of catch away, I am happy that I had some that I've passed on to family and friends. Once my arrangements are in place, I'll be making the most out of it by dropping more fish to other family members and friends. I am the worst person to keep in touch but this should be something that will help me solve that particular problem I face.

In another note, my personal business has started picking up and I still think it's important to give back to the society so I am thinking of coming up with a CSR campaigns that will help influence the community. I recently received encouragement to go for it from a friend and I am hoping we are able to pull it off together.

I downloaded a blogging application in my phone and I'm hoping with this I'll start blogging again. I hope it does cause I still refer to some of my previous posts.

Until next time

Cheers

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Progress & Hope come together..

So there's this bad habit growing into me, I find myself starring at the PC for a very long time not knowing what to do with it. Even though I know all I want is to come up with either a creative design or a kick @$$ plan that will help me get my new company in MAJOR action, somehow all I seem to think of is Elizabeth Gilbert's lecture and specifically why isn't Mr. Genius showing up for his part of the deal. I am posting the link for you HERE to understand what I am talking about.

I guess I’m too nervous to actually come up with something that’s of my own creation because in my line of business, all that matters is how well you impress the audience. So here I am sitting infront of the screen again, this is similar to those lonely moments when you find yourself flipping channels endlessly at about 4 in the afternoon when all channels are show casing the worst programs simultaneously and you find yourself with nothing interesting to settle to. There’s just me, my drifting thoughts and the useless places I just don't want to end up in.

The one and only thing that strikes my mind is why do we get nervous? Why do we put ourselves in situations like this? Can we be enjoying having no control over ourselves when our hearts and minds are shaken like a V12 diesel engine?
I define this Nervousness as a state of emotional control where an individual finds himself scared of the unknown, horrified from it only because he does not know what to expect. In other words, nervousness means fear and in my particular case, its fear of change. When I’m in this situation I keep on telling myself this is something that I am fully aware of how to control. I can deal with this provoking situation that I'm in, there is no need for being lost anymore, I can deal with change.

People usually fear change because they do not have enough information to help them project the future. We experience fear because we have difficulty preparing, rehearsing and delivering our material and don't know how the final outcome will turn out to be. A smooth change is a change we usually don't notice, however no matter how different we try to describe it, we end up going through a progressive and an un-noticeable transaction. But my main focus here are changes that gives us the shivers, the ones that can make us fall into depression or make us do something we might soon come to regret. In case you are wondering why I am making this a big deal is because I am counting on this to quit my current job. I am tempted to resign and purely focus on a business that has no ground yet.

Anyways to summaries the above, nervousness equals fear due to big changes. It took me a while until I came to this conclusion, but it helped me tackle the problem I was facing. I applied what I know of change management to solve my problem (for more info click HERE to read about change management) and when I was done getting over the five steps of change, I somehow got over the fear of disappointing ppl and started focusing on business again.

Little by little, designing became a practice and this practice became a habit and sooner than anticipated, I was a hard working designer (I say hard working cause I don’t think I am really creative yet loool). But before all of this, I could have always given up and fallen back to whatever I am good at or whatever seemed easier to achieve. I chose to fall deep in and no matter how much time or money I must spend, I must stick to it and give it my best until I succeed.

A Quote by Orihime (from Bleach) smacks me back into reality:

"There were a lot of things I wanted to do. I wanted to become a teacher, and an astronaut, and a baker... I wanted to go to a bunch of different donut shops and ask for one of everything! And I wanted to tell the ice-cream man to give me one of everything, too! I wish I could have five different lives! Then I could have been born in five different towns, and eaten five lifetime's worth of food, and had five different careers, and... fallen in love with the same person, five times."-Orihime





Focus, determination and complete loyalty is the path I chose and this will now stand as Big Bear’s values too. Now let us see how far I reach and maybe one day I will get to live 5 different lives and fall in love with the same person, five times."

One of my favorite shows is TED Talks and it will be a dream come true if one day I find myself giving a talk worth spreading in one of their programs. I am contemplating if I should keep this as a benchmark to my success.

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...and Change Will Follow

I had to give three of my own staff warning letters after they’ve violated one of the rules set by the company. My approach was soft and humble, I started by apologizing to take disciplinary actions against them and then I also explained why this step was an important step to take from a company’s point of view.

This got me thinking about loads of other past experiences when I was supposed to make such harsh decisions, but in the end I let them get away with verbal warnings. Looking back at time, ever since I joined the company just a couple of years ago I think our situation has been improving, yet a lot of time was wasted because discipline was never a value that interested the company or at least it wasn’t to the employees.

What went wrong is very simple to understand. A company called Waltkens used to manage a tiny little cage with 5 monkeys stuck in it. They appointed a watchman with a high pressure water hose that was used to wash down any monkey that tried to climb up a ladder that had bananas hanging on top of it. This watchman used to open up the hose, splash every monkey that tried touching a banana and just to teach the other monkeys a lesson, he would attack the rest of the monkeys using the same water force till they lost all power and could barely move. This happened almost every day until the 5 monkey’s decided they won’t go for the bananas anymore.

A couple of weeks later, one stupid monkey decided to try his luck and climbed the ladder. Just before the watchman reacted, the other monkeys jumped on the stupid monkey and bashed him till he was worn out and thus a new system in the cage was created and followed for months. The watchman had no means to stay any longer since no monkey could get his arse up the ladder, so he packed up his goods and left for good. Yet the monkeys still followed the same old rule (Attack any monkey that tries to act smart on us).

After a while the cage was sold to a new company and the management tried changing this bad old habit (of monkeys attacking each other) by replacing one monkey with another new monkey every month. Even after all 5 monkeys were replaced, the same old habit still lived in this same old cage, despite the fact that the monkeys never knew why they attacked each other every time one of them tried to climb the ladder.

This story is also similar to my situation but the only difference is that they are not monkeys, they are my employees. They are not wrong too, I have been doing them wrong by blaming them for not being responsible and thought they have no discipline in themselves. I have been introducing loads of new procedures, new methods, and new standards to follow yet no one seemed to care about them. They just couldn’t get themselves to commit to the new BETTER I am trying to introduce. 

I was speaking to a friend that’s having some problems living with his girl. I told him to take it easy and not demand too many changes cause she is going through a “transformation curve”. She is going through it because of FEAR. She is scared from the future (the unknown) and would rather continue life just the way it is or retreat to her old life where everything was simple). Now you are asking her to change or be a goner but you don’t realize that there are 6 steps to change, so whatever she is going through is a positive sign.

Step 1 – DENIAL. First she’ll deny everything you say or suggest.
Step 2 – REJECTION. Then she will act frustrated and get angry.
Step 3 – SELF ACCEPTANCE. After a while she will try negotiating without admitting she is wrong.
Step 4 – DEPRESSION. Then she will accept her wrong side and fall into depression.
Step 5 – ACCEPTANCE. Then she will try to gain knowledge for self understanding and better vision.
STEP 6 – THE OUTCOME. She will see an opportunity or a better way and that’s when she will start execution to make the change successful.

And just after I explained the last step, I realized that I have led my team in the wrong way. I did not stop to see or help them pass whatever stage they were stuck in. I, myself was blinded by the stupid reasons that I have put before me and them. I put my head down, shame and guilt felt so heavy in me.

So first I am starting with me, I’m going to make a change and hope this change gets positively passed on to you.




Quote of the day:
“Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.” Che Guevara

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Until I’m at a stage of equilibrium..

I’m a customer service fanatic and I miss my old job. I’ve been an HSE advisor for the past two years or actually three and I must admit that dealing with strangers is much easier then dealing with people you know.

Let me explain why?

Everyday you speak, work or even see someone, the more you get to know him. Even if it's professionally that might be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your jobs nature. But the more the both of you get to know one another, the more that person takes you for granted. For example; the first year of your marriage is usually rough due to the different habits and backgrounds the both of you have. However when you look at the initial five years of your marriage, they say that it’s the best days because you still don’t know what to expect from him/her and you are impressed by even the little things. However the longer you last with him/her the narrower the expectation gets and so the little stuff you do is taken for granted. The satisfactory ladder is applied here and it’s scientifically proven right (and this works vice versa).

So basically if I get you (my wife) a flower everyday you will be flattered until one day the flower I offer to you becomes basic and the smile you give me starts washing away. The warmth feel I once upon a time received is no longer mine even though I am still doing something most people don’t usually do. The only way I can gain back that smile is by climbing up the satisfactory ladder to reach for the new unexpected surprise I will give her, and all of a sudden just like a flower that was almost dying she smiles at me again with a pretty face that brightens up my day.

If I did the same thing with strangers or who I like to call customers, the result would be different. For instance; I give away a single rose to one customer everyday (just like how I did it to my wife). I touched her unexpected button and she gives me back a smile that overwhelms my week. I feel happy, acknowledged and not taken for granted even after years of doing the same exact thing. Because every customer will give me a different impression and I won’t wash away their smile because basically I am not talking about the same person getting the same treatment everyday. So nor will they feel basic or would I take the different smiles and comments for granted.

I previously wrote a post about acknowledgment and what it means to one another. People feel acknowledged in different ways but we all seek for the thing that makes us feel special. Anyways after changing profession I hit the road in search of a new way to pursuit what we are all looking for. I have engaged my-self in lots of conversations with people that were quit interesting and others that are simply airheads. I also read a great deal of books to better understand the circle of life or what happens inside it.

My uncle once told me a story about 6 blind men that were asked to approach an elephant to describe what they feel. One man touched the stomach and described the big round shape he felt. The second man landed on the trunk and described the snake looking nose it had and how it uses it to drink, breath and so on. The third guy luckily touched the tusk and described its shape and how hard it is. The fourth guy touched the elephants tail and behind and so he described what a huge ass and tiny tail does this poor animal have. The fifth mostly described the short legs and shamefully added some info of what’s between the legs. The sixth and last blind guy got the ears and it was the hardest to figure-out but he finally concluded that this large thing must be earflaps that help this slow animal cool down.

After telling me this boring story, my uncle then concluded his point by asking me to imagine that these 6 blind men were authors/writers. Only after we read and hear the different thoughts and views of people, we then put them all together to get a full picture of our individual curious interest.

Knowledge is what will help me get there and I am certain it would somehow. So I’ve made it a habit to read in order to better understand my role in life and I also write to observe how I develop from a boy to a man.

I find my-self rebellious against traditional and usual social acceptance. My dream is to become a sociologist but I never initiated that path yet and acknowledgment is still my motto in life.





"The alienated human individual is bound to society as a whole by an invisible umbilical cord: the law of value. It acts upon all facets of his life, shaping his road and his destiny." Che Guevara

Mind vs. Emotions!!!

Today I had a very interesting conversation with my lil sis thats turning 14 in just a couple of weeks. I am posting it here cause it's kind of a continues (a part II) to something I posted a while ago (Click here for old post).

I hope you all enjoy it..

Participants:
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Uncle (who is me)
You rock! (who is lil sis)

Messages:
---------
Uncle: Hey sis
You rock!: hey bro
Uncle: How u doin?
You rock!: am fine u??
Uncle: I'm good
Uncle: Saw ur msg n u said u needed to talk
You rock!: ya
Uncle: Wassup
You rock!: now?
Uncle: Ya sure
You rock!: ok ya3ni umm
Uncle: Aha
You rock!: be4 i didnt used to get scared be4 tests now i do 4 no reason
You rock!: *about
Uncle: Do u study as much as u used to?
You rock!: ya
You rock!: ba3d akthar
Uncle: Great.. Mabrook sis
You rock!: :S
Uncle: U r growing up n u r beginning to realize what responsibility is
You rock!: stomachaches and nausea and not being able to sleep?
You rock!: thats responsibility?
Uncle: Exactly.. Thts y when u do anythin wrong we get so angry
Uncle: We r responsible for u la
You rock!: i dont get it that sounds like torture i mean the stomachaches and stuff
Uncle: :) now u have to remember there are two types of ppl..
You rock!: ya?
Uncle: Ppl that think with their minds n some that think with their heart (emotional ppl)
You rock!: aha
You rock!: i dont get what that has to do with this ... :D
Uncle: We all think with both but we use mind more then heart or some use heart more then mind
Uncle: All u need to figure is how to balance n control it
You rock!: and u think i use what more?
You rock!: oooooooooooh
You rock!: ok
Uncle: Heart.. That's why u get nausea
You rock!: soo i have to figure out how to control it like sort of mind over matter??
Uncle: If u use mind more.. U will be able to control ur emotions shweia n force ur self to sleep cause ur common sense says its more important
Uncle: Yes..
You rock!: can i ask u a question?
Uncle: There is no school that can teach u that.. U need to figure it out
Uncle: Aha
You rock!: did it happen to u b4?
Uncle: No one missed this experience.. Some ppl only got over it without realising it.. So their advice won't be like mine
You rock!: oh ok
You rock!: so its gonna take a long time maybe?
You rock!: it depends on me sa7?
Uncle: It depends on u.. I don't like things controlling me so I got rid of that phase quickly
Uncle: Yela sis gotta go now but
You rock!: mhm
Uncle: Will check on u soon..
You rock!: ok tc thnx
Uncle: Love u
You rock!: ok sure bye say hi 2 every1 there
You rock!: love u 2
Uncle: K
You rock! signed out.

In & Outside the Ring

Everybody’s watching fully concentrating on what’s happening in the ring. Echoes from all around just for the sake of some jabs and punches that will determine whose fate is it today.

I don’t understand what’s going on. Where is this place?!

His shots get wide and I can’t stop it, I’m thinking what is the right next move..
What can I do? I’ve been here before yet I wonder how can I stand a chance against something like this? This is chaos.



I am unconscious and something has taken over me. I hit back with small blows as I inch-up to him avoiding his punches but I haven’t regained my consciousness yet, these heart beats are all I feel.

Dear God who or what is this thing pushing me forward? Who’s controlling me?

The level of tenacity between us is what determines success. The one who controls both his and his enemy’s chaos is the one who leaves with victory?

How did I get here? Or should I be asking, why?
Is it Money? Fame? If I find a purpose than maybe I will figure out what’s the next best step for me. *Sigh*

My body is still throwing small blows, trying to close the gap between me and him, while I am still doing all I can do, I keep breathing cause it might make me last through the day.

And that’s when it hit me

“Those who do not fear the sword they wield have no right to wield a sword at all.”

It might not make sense but “Inspiration” is the act or power that arouses our emotional behaviour, changing the course of our usual activity by replacing an emotion with another, replacing sorrow with bliss, fear with sense or regret with success.

My childhood:
Unfortunately I can’t remember it a lot due to my memory problem but I think my past was as any kid’s ordinary life, full of joyful moments. The few anecdotes I remember are from boat trips with dad, mom fighting/struggling to fill my life with toys to keep me away from harm, and my cousins & I up to mischief that kept the whole neighborhood in constant alert.

My teenage moments:
From my teenage days, all I remember are silly moments I put my folks through. Moments you wouldn’t want to be in. I had my folks bail me out of jail for driving without license, I also remember staring at furious dad through a piece of glass after he was summoned by the headmaster because of classes that were skipped, and I also remember dodging a lifetime jail sentence for blowing up a house with this explosive substance a friend & I have created from PifPaf and some other stuff.

My life now:
I think the change in me is a miracle, from being the stupidest kid in planet earth to someone that thinks about the boring things in life AKA a good future. Now my ideal way of having fun varies from having a decent conversation over a cup of coffee to playing with gadgets or camping in the middle of nowhere. I seriously can’t think of a more boring way to live life but I guess that’s what age does to us.

I personally believe that we (Human Beings) go through constant changes throughout our lifetime and these experiences help us make decisions. But when I’m unconscious, lost, and can’t find a way I remember a quote from Marianne Williamson that says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

Business solutions

I have just created a new blog to share some information about my researches and what I think of my business experiences.

At the moment I am not sure if it will be of any help to anyone but this has been one of my interests for the past few years and I don't see a better way then blogging it.

I will be updating it whenever I get the chance. I am hoping that means approximately every two weeks depending on how much I've had to read.

Your comments means alot.

Welcome to my new blog


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