So there's this bad habit growing into me, I find myself starring at the PC for a very long time not knowing what to do with it. Even though I know all I want is to come up with either a creative design or a kick @$$ plan that will help me get my new company in MAJOR action, somehow all I seem to think of is Elizabeth Gilbert's lecture and specifically why isn't Mr. Genius showing up for his part of the deal. I am posting the link for you HERE to understand what I am talking about.
I guess I’m too nervous to actually come up with something that’s of my own creation because in my line of business, all that matters is how well you impress the audience. So here I am sitting infront of the screen again, this is similar to those lonely moments when you find yourself flipping channels endlessly at about 4 in the afternoon when all channels are show casing the worst programs simultaneously and you find yourself with nothing interesting to settle to. There’s just me, my drifting thoughts and the useless places I just don't want to end up in.
The one and only thing that strikes my mind is why do we get nervous? Why do we put ourselves in situations like this? Can we be enjoying having no control over ourselves when our hearts and minds are shaken like a V12 diesel engine?
I define this Nervousness as a state of emotional control where an individual finds himself scared of the unknown, horrified from it only because he does not know what to expect. In other words, nervousness means fear and in my particular case, its fear of change. When I’m in this situation I keep on telling myself this is something that I am fully aware of how to control. I can deal with this provoking situation that I'm in, there is no need for being lost anymore, I can deal with change.
People usually fear change because they do not have enough information to help them project the future. We experience fear because we have difficulty preparing, rehearsing and delivering our material and don't know how the final outcome will turn out to be. A smooth change is a change we usually don't notice, however no matter how different we try to describe it, we end up going through a progressive and an un-noticeable transaction. But my main focus here are changes that gives us the shivers, the ones that can make us fall into depression or make us do something we might soon come to regret. In case you are wondering why I am making this a big deal is because I am counting on this to quit my current job. I am tempted to resign and purely focus on a business that has no ground yet.
Anyways to summaries the above, nervousness equals fear due to big changes. It took me a while until I came to this conclusion, but it helped me tackle the problem I was facing. I applied what I know of change management to solve my problem (for more info click HERE to read about change management) and when I was done getting over the five steps of change, I somehow got over the fear of disappointing ppl and started focusing on business again.
Little by little, designing became a practice and this practice became a habit and sooner than anticipated, I was a hard working designer (I say hard working cause I don’t think I am really creative yet loool). But before all of this, I could have always given up and fallen back to whatever I am good at or whatever seemed easier to achieve. I chose to fall deep in and no matter how much time or money I must spend, I must stick to it and give it my best until I succeed.
A Quote by Orihime (from Bleach) smacks me back into reality:
"There were a lot of things I wanted to do. I wanted to become a teacher, and an astronaut, and a baker... I wanted to go to a bunch of different donut shops and ask for one of everything! And I wanted to tell the ice-cream man to give me one of everything, too! I wish I could have five different lives! Then I could have been born in five different towns, and eaten five lifetime's worth of food, and had five different careers, and... fallen in love with the same person, five times."-Orihime
Focus, determination and complete loyalty is the path I chose and this will now stand as Big Bear’s values too. Now let us see how far I reach and maybe one day I will get to live 5 different lives and fall in love with the same person, five times."
One of my favorite shows is TED Talks and it will be a dream come true if one day I find myself giving a talk worth spreading in one of their programs. I am contemplating if I should keep this as a benchmark to my success.