Friday, May 30, 2008

Love is a mind creation to avoid being alone

There is a thin line between what your heart desires and what your mind tells you to do. I lived 25 years of my life taught to mostly do to things:

Follow your heart


Think before you do stuff

I’ve had a lot of good days in my life mainly because I do not ask for too much and I appreciate the little things that come my way. I remember times when some friends and I would just go out and have a blast, not carrying about all the worries in life or how successful we’d be in 20 years but of course there were times when dramatic stuff came our way and things just didn’t go the way they ware actually planned. My reactions to bad stuff is simply “Oh well! Life was never meant to be perfect and its not the end of the world.”

When tragedy comes your way and there is nothing much you can do but tremble. There is always something out there that can make you feel better and the way I see it, it all depends on what type of a person you are? Do you follow your heart or do you let your mind take control?

I remember going to pick my friend up from college one day. This was back in the days when I didn’t have a cell phone so it was quiet hard to get in touch with me unless you ringed up one of my friends. Anyways I am lounging there and about while he is walking towards me with a confused face. He pulls out his hand to say hello but instead he says “G, I am not sure how am I supposed to say this but I think you should contact your family because your dads wife passed away”. At that point in my life she was the closest person to me if not the only person that actually knew what I was thinking before I even said a word. Anyways my heart froze, my mind took control and the only thing on my mind was to get to my dad and sisters as soon as possible in order to support them through this tragedy. I only cried 6 days later when I was alone in the room and after I was sure that they are strong enough to carry on with their lives without messing up. I still kept an eye on them for a very long time.

I also remember other times when friends went through unwanted moments in their life, be it a relationship or a stupid mistake that was a result from someone dear to them. Being an ordinary person they’d snap, hold their feelings and say nothing, dismiss the other person, argue or if it was a fortunate day they’d forgive. What ever actions they took was resorted from the heart. Sometimes the actions they took were right and at other times they could have done better.

Some people that know me say I am heartless at times or I am very strict (bad to the bone) and should think from the heart. Being a product of my father, I was taught to always think first and then use your heart to be gentle. I also know that there is a limit to everything in life and one thing that’s not acceptable to be rude.

Sometimes I am not really sure what rule am I supposed to follow and to be quiet honest I use the mind then heart rule in a relationship, at work and in the house too. All I know is that there is a thin line between what your heart desires and what your mind tells you to do. Question is what is it that makes me a better person? Being smart or being a loving person?

When someone says I think I love you. Is that the heart or mind talking? lol


Sunday, May 04, 2008

Needs, something everyone has..

A lot of people have needs (My bro has taught his 1 year old kid to say “I Got Needs”) lol

I believe that needs differ from person to person. Some people have sexual needs, others are looking for satisfaction in life, their jobs, family commitment and the list never ends. If someone was to ask me why do we need stuff?! I believe it’s because everyone wants to be someone important to someone out there. Others look for love and there is nothing in this world thats more important then their relationship.
Some others like my dad, He had to prove his existence in the world and he was able to accomplish that through work by being there for everyone within the organization and scoring big in his tasks. He has marked his name in the worldwide marine industry and I know that this is one of the main reasons he is living life now = a happy man.

A lot of other ppl think fame is what will fulfil their needs. I wanna be an artist, a poet or a famous author. I believe they touch people’s hearts by words and receive acknowledgments. One acknowledgment can make me take down an elephant.

That leads me to INSPIRATION. Just to words “GOOD JOB” is what I need to make me work harder then I did yesterday. My boss, my colleague, my friend or even a family member has inspired me to perfect the task I am currently doing and he/she doesn’t even know it. Great leaders owe their success to the network power they’ve got. In order to strengthen your network power you must be a social butterfly and communicate with your team. Ask them of their accomplishments and have them achieve better and harder goals. When they climb the ladder they’ll be lifting you above them and that means you climb the ladder with their successes.

I can’t do relationships but I’d love to be in one. I think it needs patience and that’s something I just don’t have. I am not close to my family for some odd reasons. Families like it when their brother, sister, cousin or uncle is there for them and especially when they receive the feel of being supported through personal problems. My problem is that I don’t share my problems with a lot of people which somehow means no matter how much I help any of my family member they won’t be able to return the favour. This habit is also bad because some times I enter my own world of “G” and fight my battles alone. A lot of people do not understand that simply because the “G” they saw was smiling and did not have a worry in life. When I enter that world of mine I somehow forget my self and dose off into an imaginable world. A friend of mine once called to inform me that he was having an operation tomorrow. I asked him to take care of himself and to avoid applying pressure on his knee even if it takes 4 months. Or he will never play sports again and all his movements will be NOT EASY. His life style will change some how. A few weeks later another friend comes up to me and was like “btw he said that he informed you and expected that you will tell the rest about his operation, u didn’t even show up to visit him”. I did not have a clue about the operation at that moment until he reminded me about it. He knows how I am and he has this way of making me see that, that conversation did actually happen.

Going back to my point, what I mean to say is I am only human and sometimes I do have mistakes and I know I forget or sometimes I loose my way in conversations. Last time I checked everyone in this world has a problem or two. Plus your problem is your problem so if you have a problem, why are you angry at me because I did not offer help? If I choose to offer my help then that should be considered as a bonus and not something you base your trust on.

LoL i understand the problem now. His or her needs were different then mine. He needed someone to support him through the problem and I was busy valuing something else. Life is full of measurements so when do we get to rest?! When we drive we measure the distance between the cars around us, when we work then we measure risks and stuff, when we talk we measure our words, when we eat we measuring how much we can take, etc.

I believe I’m growing up to be like my father, the guy who gets his needs (acknowledgement) through work and the legitimacy of his words. I’d love to grow up to be like the godfather only without the blood sheds. I would also like to write a book or two that will influence at least one person out of the 6 billion people in the world. My pops has a couple and I like to believe that I can possibly do it as well.

After writing all this, I am embarrassed to say that the only thing that will make me happy are the readers acknowledgments.



Friday, April 11, 2008

Who are you, NOW?!

It's been a while since i posted anything here. I am not sure if I just didnt have the time + energy to do it or I just ran outta ideas and couldn't be bothered.I guess life is like that. Some things last forever and other things simply die and vanish.For some reason my life now involve the following words alot:

Competence & Capability

I am wondering what the hell happened to my music time, enjoying alcohol, being out and not carrying about "what time i'll get back home", etc.

I still think we live in a beautiful world and im always up to date with Naruto & Bleach. I can't wait to find out what are the new moves that Uzumaki will learn and How powerful is Ichigo's Hollow and how is he gonna kick the Arancarra'a ass..

Oh!! I almost forgot!!! WHO WATCHES ONE TREE HILL, unfortunately i am stuck in eps. 8 of season 5. Freaking hell I only wanna see the next episode and i can wait longer after tht..Lord plz send me someone that can help me..