Wednesday, August 26, 2009

In & Outside the Ring

Everybody’s watching fully concentrating on what’s happening in the ring. Echoes from all around just for the sake of some jabs and punches that will determine whose fate is it today.

I don’t understand what’s going on. Where is this place?!

His shots get wide and I can’t stop it, I’m thinking what is the right next move..
What can I do? I’ve been here before yet I wonder how can I stand a chance against something like this? This is chaos.



I am unconscious and something has taken over me. I hit back with small blows as I inch-up to him avoiding his punches but I haven’t regained my consciousness yet, these heart beats are all I feel.

Dear God who or what is this thing pushing me forward? Who’s controlling me?

The level of tenacity between us is what determines success. The one who controls both his and his enemy’s chaos is the one who leaves with victory?

How did I get here? Or should I be asking, why?
Is it Money? Fame? If I find a purpose than maybe I will figure out what’s the next best step for me. *Sigh*

My body is still throwing small blows, trying to close the gap between me and him, while I am still doing all I can do, I keep breathing cause it might make me last through the day.

And that’s when it hit me

Those who do not fear the sword they wield have no right to wield a sword at all.

It might not make sense but “Inspiration” is the act or power that arouses our emotional behaviour, changing the course of our usual activity by replacing an emotion with another, replacing sorrow with bliss, fear with sense or regret with success.

My childhood:
Unfortunately I can’t remember it a lot due to my memory problem but I think my past was as any kid’s ordinary life, full of joyful moments. The few anecdotes I remember are from boat trips with dad, mom fighting/struggling to fill my life with toys to keep me away from harm, and my cousins & I up to mischief that kept the whole neighborhood in constant alert.

My teenage moments:
From my teenage days, all I remember are silly moments I put my folks through. Moments you wouldn’t want to be in. I had my folks bail me out of jail for driving without license, I also remember staring at furious dad through a piece of glass after he was summoned by the headmaster because of classes that were skipped, and I also remember dodging a lifetime jail sentence for blowing up a house with this explosive substance a friend & I have created from PifPaf and some other stuff.

My life now:
I think the change in me is a miracle, from being the stupidest kid in planet earth to someone that thinks about the boring things in life AKA a good future. Now my ideal way of having fun varies from having a decent conversation over a cup of coffee to playing with gadgets or camping in the middle of nowhere. I seriously can’t think of a more boring way to live life but I guess that’s what age does to us.

I personally believe that we (Human Beings) go through constant changes throughout our lifetime and these experiences help us make decisions. But when I’m unconscious, lost, and can’t find a way I remember a quote from Marianne Williamson that says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

3 comments:

Wardat_il'7leej said...

You first bit can be misread to mean other situations in your life which you are struggling with.
As for you memories in childhood and teenage years you remember more than you want to admit, at least those stories you told me about.

DeeNess said...

I LOVE THIS POST.

well written, great observations, light and tasteful humour
really a good read. :)

honest.

Degoat said...

thanx again buds..

It's humanly ok to feel lost sometimes.. i wrote this bit by bit i remember, when i was lost..

G